Andy and I had the opportunity to spend last Saturday at Sea World with his folks - his parents, and his brother, sister-in-law, and their two kids. We weren't about to pass it up, so we got up nice and early and headed down to San Antonio with his parents in their car.

I was wondering at first if they'd take it badly if Andy and I slipped away to wander around by ourselves, but apparently not; the second we walked into the gates and the family started to debate what they wanted to see first, we slithered out of the way and headed over to the Clydesdale exhibit to see the horsies.

After that we checked out the dolphins, which you can apparently feed yourself at certain times during the day. We didn't get to, but we noted the feeding times for later. Then we headed toward the rides... because while I have a deep and abiding fear of roller coasters, I did tell Andy that if was going to try to get me on one, it had better be in the morning before lunch.

On the way we stopped to see a cute sea lion show, sitting in the "splash zone" in the hopes of getting splahsed, but no... no water. Instead we brined in our own sweat for the entire thing. But it was a short show, so pretty soon we were up and on our way to the rides again with a little detour through the sea lion and otter area.

We finally got to the big roller coaster, the Steel Eel. Fortunately for us both, I did not look at the "coaster stats" beforehand... ie. the 150 foot plummet at 3.5 g-force, and 65 mph. To me it looked like an "ok" coaster which, best of all, didn't do any loops.

There was absolutely NO line for it, and I dragged Andy up the ramp because it was obvious he wanted to ride it and if I waited around and dithered I'd chicken out.

About 30 seconds into it I realized he was trying to kill me. This realization came about when we got into the car. The only coasters I ride are the nice gentle ones that don't provide restraints, because they really don't do anything crazy. This one had restraints but they were HIDDEN!! You didn't see 'em until you climbed in and sat down and all of a sudden some teenage park employee is strapping you in like you're going out of the atmosphere.

My suspicions were confirmed when we started off and the car kept going up... and up... and up... I remember turning to Andy and saying, "Aren't we high enough yet, damnit?" Before reaching the top, where the oxygen masks are supposed to drop down - but these didn't. Must have been a malfunction. So anyhow, we crest the first hill and I think, 'Oh, this is not so bad,' before I notice it's not so bad because we're not actually -over- the hill entirely yet. Right after that I turn to Andy and say "I hate you" before the entire track drops away and we plummet. I grabbed his arm, and decided something was coming out. It was either gonna be puke or air, depending on which tube I left open, so I chose the clean route and screamed my head off like everyone else. After that delightful little plunge we got to do a teeny hill, and then... "Oh no, not again..." Another fun-tastic drop that had me swearing.

The rest of the ride, to be honest, was lots of fun... smaller hills and whippy turns that I really enjoy, but when we came to a jarring stop I was shaking from head to toe.

The best part? The gratuitous snapshot they take of you as you start your first plummet. Ours came out so funny, we had to spend the money on it. All I can say is, the expression on my face is a la Dark Helmet at Ludicrous Speed ("My brains... are going into... my feet...") whereas everyone else in the car appears to be having a blast, even if Andy's face is the very textbook definition of 'Demonic Glee.'

So for your viewing pleasure, you can see my abject terror immortalized forever here; note that I am doing my best to cut off the circulation Andy's right arm.

After that we met up with his folks for the last half of the water ski show, then stopped for a ride on the Rio Loco, where we got absolutely soaked from head to toe. We grabbed a quick lunch and headed off to the dolphins again, where this time we both got a chance to pet and feed them (they feel a bit like plastic).

Then we saw the Viva! show, which is a very neat show with beluga whales and acrobats doing all kinds of dives into the water and other tricks. After that we went with his folks to feed the lorikeets, cute little vibrantly colored birds from New Zealand-ish. I was waylaid by an overly-loving lorikeet who decided to completely forego my tasty cup of nectar and instead spent about ten minutes sitting on my shoulder licking the salt off my neck.

After that we found some beer and headed to Shamu's Believe show, which again was really awesome... then it was back to meet everyone at the hospitality house where they give you free beer so long as you keep it in there. There's a max of 2 per person, but it didn't stop Andy from drinking most of mine too. So once he had a pretty hearty buzz going on, we went and watched the coral reef feeding and then his folks and the kids accompanied us to the water park where we wandered around in the river and then jumped into the wave pool for 15 minutes or so.

By then the park was about to close and we were ready to head home. We stopped at a Cracker Barrel on the way and got home around 10:30 or so, and I think we might have actually made it to bed before falling asleep.

All in all, if you're looking for a day-trip with the family and kids, I highly recommend Sea World. The employees were all very nice, the park was empty until about 11:30, the rides and attractions were fun, and the shows absolutely amazing. I could easily have stayed another few hours, or come back the next day. It definitely gets two bunny-thumbs up, even if Andy did try to murder me.