For those of you playing on Moon Guard, and for anyone who feels like reading, here's a short story that outlines my character Zosh's history. I do not expect this server to become my 'main' server but I have to say I am enjoying the RP, and the chance for new ideas and new materials to write about. As always, if you enjoy my writing style and would like me to work on something for one of your characters, please contact me via PM or in game and we'll work something out!

Anyhow, here it is:

Zosh's Story

Coming of age. That's the term they use for the time during which children grow and change the most, take the biggest, last, and final steps on their way to adulthood. It is supposed to happen gradually, neatly. In some cases, with dignity and beauty. Mine was none of those things. Nor was Xua's.

Prior to this 'coming of age' we would have considered ourselves like many other cousins: familiar with each other, but not overly close. We met at family gatherings, said our obligatory hellos, played with each other and with our other relatives, and then went our separate ways with our families once more.

Our family was of the minor nobility. I shall not burden you with our surname; it is no longer of any consequence. Suffice it to say that through generations of 'good marriages' and skilled merchants, we had become worthy of the titles 'Lord' and Lady.' We had several dedicated clergymen among our numbers, which endeared us to various temples as well.

It was clear early on that I had some skill with magic. How that skill would manifest itself was an unknown quotient in the equation. I could sense when spells were being cast around me, and that was enough for my parents to know that my calling would not be as a tradesman. Later on, I tried very hard to blame them, at least in part, for what happened. They were merchants themselves, and none of my younger brothers or sisters showed any aptitude for the arcane. Just me, and for my parents it was enough that I should learn their skills for the time being. My vocation would be dealt with when I reached the correct age to begin schooling it. I later railed against this thought; if they had sent me to be trained when my talents began to manifest, if I had insisted upon it, if, if, if!

In the end I could not blame them any more than I could truly blame myself. I was young and inexperienced. All I knew was there was something inside me, something very dark and very deep that stirred on occasion and awoke strange sensations within me. It wasn't necessarily 'me,' it was some other identity, some other being. It had a hunger I could not place, not until it was too late to do anything about it,

It was Midsummer, a celebration we all looked forward to, and therefore the entire family was present, from the eldest right down to the tiniest babe. I was full of pride and self-importance, for it had finally been decided that I would study at the University in the city, starting the next season. None of our family had ever gone, not to study magic. I was the first, and I was thrilled to be so. My young cousin Xua was excited as well, for she had been chosen to become a priestess. Her side of the family had contributed the most to that vocation over the generations, but for a long while the skills and predilections toward it had lain dormant. Xua was the first in quite some time now to show the aptitude necessary for one of the higher members of the Order. Oh, certainly we'd contributed laymen, clergymen, and the like, but Xua was to be a high priestess and wield magic of her own. It was quite the distinction.

Emotions were high, and as the night wore on I began to grow uncomfortable. The magic inside me was stirring, begging for something I could not name. I was restless; after dinner I paced instead of sitting down with my age-mates and playing games, or even running around with the youngsters. Certainly Xua observed my anxiety. I felt her eyes upon me more than once. They made me uncomfortable, as they never had before. The stirring inside me grew. I could feel it rippling through me, over my skin like waves of ocean water. It was uncomfortable and yet welcome... like pain and pleasure at once.

Perhaps something in my own eyes caused Xua to come toward me, perhaps it was something else. Maybe she felt the air around me changing, even as I did. All I know is that whatever was inside me exploded then, erupted from my very soul like a thunderstorm that has been building for hours. I remember very little of it... I was too usy trying to handle it. At first it was uncomfortable, as if I'd grown too big for my own skin. I adjusted quickly though, as I felt whatever it was inside me break free and move off on its own. I know I smiled, as bolts of energy tore from my core and struck out randomly. My vision was fogged and my mind was clouded, but I remember Xua screaming and dropping to the ground, covering her head and somehow evoking a golden shield of light around herself.

I remember giggling like a child as the power I felt tantalized my senses. It was pleasant and painful at the same time. Sensations I had never before experienced as a boy pulsed through me; not sexual in nature, but a different sort of pleasure... fulfillment after a long run, perhaps. It was seeing Xua that once more brought me into myself. Pleasure disappeared leaving me with pain. Fire coursed through me, leaving me screaming instead of laughing, crying as I realized the darkness in my core had manifested into a creature, and the creature called itself Makvugh.

I collapsed to the ground as my body shook. Somewhere in the fogged haze of my mind I knew I must regain control of myself. I do not know how but I managed to exert my will over the creature, over my own rebellious body and spirit, and ever so painfully slowly pulled it back. My insides screamed with the desire to reject this creature, this demon, but it had been a part of me before and must be so again. Even in this clouded sort of consciousness I knew we were tied.

In the aftermath of this storm I was left weak and sobbing upon the ground. I must have lost consciousness for a moment or two, because when I came back to my senses my clothes were soaked through. Had it rained? I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, then into a sitting position. No one was moving. I lifted my hands and for a moment thought they were covered in dark brown dirt until I remembered the soil here was a bright, light tan. My hands were covered in bloodied ground. Was it mine? A quick inventory of my limbs showed burns and welts, but no open wounds.

Afraid - no, terrified - I looked up. There was no one moving. What had been a peaceful family gathering had become something far worse. It didn't register, exactly, until I heard a wet, flat, dripping noise. One of my younger brothers was slumped over the table he'd been sitting at. His arm dangled from the side, and blood dripped steadily down it to land on the ground. Downhill from him, I realized i was wet with the blood of my entire family.

A flicker of light in the corner of my eye drew my attention to Xua, whose shield was sputtering out. I lurched to my feet and staggered to her. Turning her over I sobbed anew when I saw that she lived. I gathered her close, crying uncontrollably, rocking her as if she were a baby, my tear-distorted voice mumbling apology after apology.

And so, I now knew the nature of my magical ability. My calling was that of the warlock, feared and despised, dabbling in the arcane and the dangerous, calling forth imps and demons and creatures of the Void. I couldn't reject this future any more than I'd had the chance to choose it for myself. In my later years I have finally come to udnerstand that what happened to me could happen to anyone. I was deperessed at first, then in denail, trying to reject my powers. Angry, then, at myself and my family. Now, I suppose, I have grown to accept what I am and who I am. It is true what they say; with great power one must learn to be responsible not just for themselves, but for those around them.

Xua is my only living relative now. She cannot love me - any more than she can hate me. It hurts her to see me, I know, and yet we must have each other for we have no one else.

Coming of age - I laugh at the idea now. This pretty picture of graceful growth and learning, so distorted, in my case and in hers. If that was the price we had to pay, I'd have gladly given it up and remained simple and childish forever. But this is the world we live in, and we must accept our defeats and failures with as much grace as our successes.

Hindsight is truly perfect.